No I don't play basketball

not-photogenic: title of my autobiography: sorry

Thu, 23 May 2013 16:02:07 -0400

not-photogenic:

title of my autobiography: sorry

niknak79: An accurate evaluation

Thu, 23 May 2013 16:01:54 -0400

niknak79:

An accurate evaluation

zeuspiss: im sorry… … i got some bad news… … . drinking tea doesn’t make you anymore intelligent or...

Thu, 23 May 2013 15:53:28 -0400

zeuspiss:

im sorry… … i got some bad news… … . drinking tea doesn’t make you anymore intelligent or cultural. i know. take your time.

Photo

Thu, 23 May 2013 15:51:03 -0400

peevesies: i went down to the middle school today for relay for life and i saw my old social...

Thu, 23 May 2013 15:50:51 -0400

peevesies:

i went down to the middle school today for relay for life and i saw my old social studies teacher i had a crush on (don’t talk to me) and he was like “hey how are you i haven’t seen you in ages?” and the first thing i blurted out was “I JUST TURNED 18” and jesus christ if that’s not the thirstiest thing i’ve said in my whole life

Photo

Thu, 23 May 2013 15:49:38 -0400

deeperstateofmind: #yep #and so far they haven’t saved you from...

Thu, 23 May 2013 15:48:11 -0400

deeperstateofmind:

#yep #and so far they haven’t saved you from hell yet

best-of-funny: sanic-x: jawslightning: the best tumblr has to...

Thu, 23 May 2013 15:45:14 -0400

best-of-funny:

sanic-x:

jawslightning:

the best tumblr has to offer

definitely worth $1.1 billion

X

the elite of tumblr’s bloggers

person: i like you

Wed, 22 May 2013 23:32:47 -0400

person: i like you
me: why

shannananan: mercimonamie: i fell in love with him like ketchup falls out of a bottle: slowly, and...

Wed, 22 May 2013 23:32:42 -0400

shannananan:

mercimonamie:

i fell in love with him like ketchup falls out of a bottle: slowly, and then all at once.

oh my god you managed to one up john green.

When I find my phone after searching forever

Wed, 22 May 2013 23:30:45 -0400

whatshouldwecallme:

matzoballer: your mama is so fat that - wait she’s not really fat actually she’s kinda hot… hey...

Wed, 22 May 2013 23:29:01 -0400

matzoballer:

your mama is so fat that - wait she’s not really fat actually she’s kinda hot… hey tell your mom i said hi

advice for coming out of the closet: go to a carnival and get on the scariest ride (preferably a...

Wed, 22 May 2013 23:26:54 -0400

advice for coming out of the closet:

go to a carnival and get on the scariest ride (preferably a large roller coaster)

right before the huge terrifying drop yell

heyguesswhatimgay

jimbertimber: coming out to your parents by saying swiggity swag guess whos a fag

Wed, 22 May 2013 23:24:13 -0400

jimbertimber:

coming out to your parents by saying swiggity swag guess whos a fag

gaysexistheanswer: hungarian: someone in class asked me for my tumblr & i took her phone &...

Wed, 22 May 2013 23:23:16 -0400

gaysexistheanswer:

hungarian:

someone in class asked me for my tumblr & i took her phone & told her i followed myself on her account but i actually followed gaysexistheanswer

thank you

brvdleysoileau: how is “slut” even an insult wtf get that dick grl

Wed, 22 May 2013 23:22:35 -0400

brvdleysoileau:

how is “slut” even an insult wtf get that dick grl

allonsyforever: barksysofetch: BEST SASS FROM THE BBMA’S THIS...

Wed, 22 May 2013 23:20:21 -0400

allonsyforever:

barksysofetch:

BEST SASS FROM THE BBMA’S THIS YEAR!!!!

Best thing about this is that JUSTIN LITERALLY GOES IN FOR THE LIPS AND SELENA’s LIKE Um NOPE

i dont know taylor’s gagging at them is pretty satisfying

peregr1ne: my mom is trying to pick a colour for her new wheelchair and me and my dad are telling...

Wed, 22 May 2013 23:16:24 -0400

peregr1ne:

my mom is trying to pick a colour for her new wheelchair and me and my dad are telling her to get black and she’s just like “but how will I know if someone is stealing it” and my dad is just like “because you’ll be sitting on the floor” and she slapped him

(I’m running errands for my pregnant wife. While walking to a nearby store, I see two teenagers harassing a child that is only four or five years old. I shoo them away from the boy, and he introduces himself.)

Wed, 22 May 2013 23:12:05 -0400

(I’m running errands for my pregnant wife. While walking to a nearby store, I see two teenagers harassing a child that is only four or five years old. I shoo them away from the boy, and he introduces himself.)

Me: “So, where’s your mom at?”

Boy: “She’s in the store. Do you have kids?”

Me: “Not yet. We’re expecting a baby girl soon, though.”

Boy: “Well, she’s going to turn out nice, like you! So, I’m going to marry her someday!”

(I laugh, and play along while I bring him to the service desk, and wait until his mom picks him up. Six years later, my daughter comes home from school and introduces us to a friend that defended her against a bully on the playground. I didn’t recognize him, but he certainly knew who I was!)

saidthecat: WATCH MY ROOMMATE REENACT A SCENE FROM JURASSIC...

Wed, 22 May 2013 23:09:36 -0400

saidthecat:

WATCH MY ROOMMATE REENACT A SCENE FROM JURASSIC PARK AND JUST BE AWESOME